Happy Monday! Happy April! ← It feels so strange to say that… How is it already April?? I’m really excited about the longer days and warm spring weather, but the first three months of the year completely flew by… So I thought a little coffee break post was long overdue!
If we were actually having coffee together (hot? iced? lattes? tea instead?), this would be one of the big things that I shared with you…
Recently, in one of the food blogger groups I participate in, a woman explained how an exciting opportunity arrived in her inbox. She had started corresponding with her dream client about a recipe and photography collaboration, but when she sent over her rates, the brand countered with 1/10th of the price.
She felt torn. This was her dream client, one of the few brands she loved and used on a daily basis… But they offered an abysmally small compensation. Should I do it? she asked in our group.
Instead of answering her question, I shared an analogy.
Imagine you walked into a popular five-star restaurant. After sitting down and looking at the menu, where you saw entrée prices started at $200, you told the waiter, “I’ve never paid more than $20 for an entrée before!” In the best case scenario, he would laugh off your exclamation and reassure you the restaurant would make sure this meal was the best dining experience of your life. In the worst case scenario, the restaurant owner would be quite offended, ban you from the premises, and give you directions to the nearest McDonald’s.
A little extreme? Maybe. But would the restaurant reconsider the worth of their dishes based on your personal opinion?
However, I think that many people confuse their self-worth with their external worth, whether monetary or body shape or something else.
Those people think their self-worth will increase with the size of their bank account, the house they buy, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the job promotions they get, or the vacations they take. Or they base their self-worth on how much weight they’ve lost, how toned their arms appear, how white their teeth are, how flawless their skin is, or how flat their abs look. Or maybe even how many followers they have on social media.
Self-worth isn’t derived from something external, and it isn’t a mental thought either.
Self-worth is the quiet voice, more of a whisper than a shout, that comes from deep within our hearts and souls. It’s not an emotion or perception that changes with the people or situations surrounding us, something that comes and goes or gets blown around like a leaf on a windy day.
Self-worth is a state of being, an everlasting feeling of peace and love and joy and contentment. This state can feel stronger at times and fainter at others, but it never crumbles or disappears based on the external happenings of our lives.
It can be really easy to forget about that quiet voice of our self-worth, especially when the rambunctious voice of doubt starts up in our heads. That voice of doubt is like a hamster in a wheel, running faster and faster and gaining more and more momentum until its high-pitched squeaky sound is all we hear. (Trust me—I’ve been there more times than I care to admit!)
But when we can tune out the doubt and the opinions of others, and when we can tap into that ever-flowing stream of self-worth and self-love, and when we can stay in that state of being, life has a way of unfolding in a more beautiful way than we ever dreamed it could be.
Don’t ever let someone else’s skewed perception, or the external circumstances of life, or the doubts in your head, undermine your own self-worth.
You are worthy now, exactly as you are. Not if. Not when. Right this very moment. ♡
In the upcoming month, I’m challenging myself to focus more on that quiet voice of self-worth and try to reduce the mental doubts that cloud it. For me, that means less time spent on my personal Instagram and Facebook accounts, where I find the comparison game and self-doubt spiral all too easy to succumb to (are my clothes chic enough? my makeup pretty enough? my abs flat enough?)… And spending more time with the people I love (hi Mom! hi Dad!) doing activities I love (baseball games! coffee dates! jigsaw puzzles!) that bring me better perspective and peace and joy.
What’s one way that you can tune out that self-doubt and increase your feeling of self-worth and self-love? ♡