Happy Monday! Happy April! ← It feels so strange to say that… How is it already April?? I’m really excited about the longer days and warm spring weather, but the first three months of the year completely flew by… So I thought a little coffee break post was long overdue!
If we were actually having coffee together (hot? iced? lattes? tea instead?), this would be one of the big things that I shared with you…
Recently, in one of the food blogger groups I participate in, a woman explained how an exciting opportunity arrived in her inbox. She had started corresponding with her dream client about a recipe and photography collaboration, but when she sent over her rates, the brand countered with 1/10th of the price.
She felt torn. This was her dream client, one of the few brands she loved and used on a daily basis… But they offered an abysmally small compensation. Should I do it? she asked in our group.
Instead of answering her question, I shared an analogy.
Imagine you walked into a popular five-star restaurant. After sitting down and looking at the menu, where you saw entrée prices started at $200, you told the waiter, “I’ve never paid more than $20 for an entrée before!” In the best case scenario, he would laugh off your exclamation and reassure you the restaurant would make sure this meal was the best dining experience of your life. In the worst case scenario, the restaurant owner would be quite offended, ban you from the premises, and give you directions to the nearest McDonald’s.
A little extreme? Maybe. But would the restaurant reconsider the worth of their dishes based on your personal opinion?
However, I think that many people confuse their self-worth with their external worth, whether monetary or body shape or something else.
Those people think their self-worth will increase with the size of their bank account, the house they buy, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the job promotions they get, or the vacations they take. Or they base their self-worth on how much weight they’ve lost, how toned their arms appear, how white their teeth are, how flawless their skin is, or how flat their abs look. Or maybe even how many followers they have on social media.
Self-worth isn’t derived from something external, and it isn’t a mental thought either.
Self-worth is the quiet voice, more of a whisper than a shout, that comes from deep within our hearts and souls. It’s not an emotion or perception that changes with the people or situations surrounding us, something that comes and goes or gets blown around like a leaf on a windy day.
Self-worth is a state of being, an everlasting feeling of peace and love and joy and contentment. This state can feel stronger at times and fainter at others, but it never crumbles or disappears based on the external happenings of our lives.
It can be really easy to forget about that quiet voice of our self-worth, especially when the rambunctious voice of doubt starts up in our heads. That voice of doubt is like a hamster in a wheel, running faster and faster and gaining more and more momentum until its high-pitched squeaky sound is all we hear. (Trust me—I’ve been there more times than I care to admit!)
But when we can tune out the doubt and the opinions of others, and when we can tap into that ever-flowing stream of self-worth and self-love, and when we can stay in that state of being, life has a way of unfolding in a more beautiful way than we ever dreamed it could be.
Don’t ever let someone else’s skewed perception, or the external circumstances of life, or the doubts in your head, undermine your own self-worth.
You are worthy now, exactly as you are. Not if. Not when. Right this very moment. ♡
In the upcoming month, I’m challenging myself to focus more on that quiet voice of self-worth and try to reduce the mental doubts that cloud it. For me, that means less time spent on my personal Instagram and Facebook accounts, where I find the comparison game and self-doubt spiral all too easy to succumb to (are my clothes chic enough? my makeup pretty enough? my abs flat enough?)… And spending more time with the people I love (hi Mom! hi Dad!) doing activities I love (baseball games! coffee dates! jigsaw puzzles!) that bring me better perspective and peace and joy.
What’s one way that you can tune out that self-doubt and increase your feeling of self-worth and self-love? ♡
I LOVE this Amy!! I too need to spend more time off my Instagram and spend more time with my cat! And I guess Cal too… 😉
Thank you so much Marina! ♡ Of course your cat takes top priority! Your cat isn’t in grad school and studying 24/7! 😉 Miss you, sweet friend!!
This is an awesome message Amy! Thank you for all you do!
My pleasure, Alycia! Thank YOU for your sweet comment! 🙂
Was not expecting this type of article from a cooking site. Outstanding article and advise!
Great recipes my the way also.
Thank you so much, Keith! I’m so glad you appreciated today’s different style of post — and the recipes too! 🙂
Wow, not only are you a wonderful cook/baker, but you are also an inspirational person with a very down to earth way of thinking and a good heart, Amy! You are one smart and sensible ‘cookie’ – lol!
Awww thank you SO much Jennifer!! That means the world to me! ♡ You’re one truly sweet cookie yourself! 🙂
Thanks Amy! ? I’m glad to see that your blog is doing so well! I can sure understand why!
Aww that means so much to me Jennifer!! Thank YOU!! ♡
You’re very welcome! Have a great day! ?
You too, sweet friend! 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this, it is exactly what I needed to hear this morning.
I love your blogs and your recipes, thank you for both ?❤
It’s my pleasure, Erika! I truly appreciate your readership and sweet comments! ♡
That was beautifully said Amy! I think it’s wonderful that at your young age you can realize this! I’ve only come to “peace in my life” at the ripe age of 53! Lol! Everyone’s journey is different…and I’m very happy where my journey is now taking me. Thank you for your delicious & healthy recipes that I follow & make all the time! I swear you & Skinnytaste are my two favorite Pinterest sites! Please keep those awesome recipes coming, and keep being the beautiful soul you are! ☺️???
Oh my goodness, you just made my entire day Nancy! Thank you SO much for your sweet comment! ♡ I’m truly honored that you’d consider me one of your favorite sites, especially alongside Skinnytaste. Gina is one of my biggest role models, so that’s a huge honor! 🙂 I’m so happy for you that you appreciate where your life’s journey is leading. That’s no easy feat — at ANY age! 😉
I love what you said. You keep me going each day. Keep the good thoughts coming. Thank You.
My pleasure, Karen! I truly appreciate your kind words — that means a lot to me! 🙂
Thank you, Amy, for sharing this. This is such a true statement, and I think the people that come to this realization don’t until they are older. It is very Easy to forget that we are human beings and not human doings. The quiet early times of the day are my most precious, realizing that my self-worth was given to me by God and his opinion is the only one that matters. Enjoy your blessed day.
Amen, Linda =)
I absolutely LOVE what you said Linda — human beings and not human doings. That’s such a great way to put it! I completely agree about the quiet early times of day as well. There’s something sacred and inspiring about those peaceful moments that other times of day don’t typically have. 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful week too!
Thank-you!! This is exactly what I needed this morning too!! Thank-you for helping me remember what is really
most important in life!
Awww! Yes! I love having “coffee” with you- I always leave feeling SO encouraged! Thank you for these words, Amy, these were what I needed today!! The world is lucky to have a blogging friend like you to remind them of what is truly important. Think of how many people are going to read these words this morning!! You are truly a gem. <3 <3 <3
Awww thank you SO much sweet pea!! ♡ That truly means the world to me that you feel encouraged by my ramblings. I’m so honored and blessed to have you in my life!
Dear Amy, Happy Easter Monday, dear lady! What you have written here is a precious & needed reminder to us, in this modern world of FB “likes” & etc. So true! Our worth doesn’t come from other people’s perceptions of us. For me, I know Who has given me my worth, and it’s Jesus. Only Him! And His opinion of me is the one that matters. God bless you! And thanks again for all your healthy recipes, I made your Ultimate Healthy Carrot Cake for Easter & my diabetic parents & I (we all have it) and also my non-diabetic hubby, we all LOVED it! I will soon post a picture of it on your FB recipe video of it, as soon as I get the FB app back on my phone. I’d taken it off over Easter to focus on what really matters, & to have quiet time with my family & my Lord.
My peace comes from God; the “peace that passes understanding.” My self-worth from knowing I am his.
That’s so wonderful Jackie! 🙂
Thank you SO much for taking the time to share all of your pictures with me on Facebook today, Michelle! That meant so much to me. I loved seeing all of your carrot treats, and I’m truly honored that everyone, including your parents and hubby, enjoyed the carrot cake! That’s the best kind of compliment I ever could’ve asked for! 🙂