Happy September! As much as I love three-day weekends (thanks Labor Day and all of your BBQs!), the first day back sometimes feels like a bit of a struggle. Somehow, I often feel even less motivated to get back in the swing of everyday life than I do on regular Monday mornings…
I can’t be the only one, right??
So I decided to ease into the week with a Coffee Break post! Imagine you and I are sitting across from each other at a coffee shop, sipping iced coffee or tea (or maybe even pumpkin spice lattes — is it too soon for those?), and catching up on life.
And if you were sitting at the table with me, I’d open up my heart, be a little vulnerable, and share these thoughts I’ve rarely told anyone outside of my family.
They’ve been on my heart and mind a lot more recently. It almost feels as if these thoughts want to come out of hibernation… As if I’ve known them all along… Yet ended up shoving them aside into the deep corners of my mind as I learned more about nutrition, “whole” foods, “clean eating,” and other popular diets.
And somehow… I’m guessing that I’m not the only one who could use a reminder. A little something in my heart and soul whispered that maybe, just maybe, other people might appreciate a reminder too.
YOU ARE MORE THAN WHAT YOU EAT
Being in the “healthy” sphere, I hear this a lot. “You are what you eat.” Have you heard it too? I’m sure most people who say this mean it as encouragement to eat more nutrient-packed food.
And yet…
How often do we take it to heart? “You are what you eat.” If you eat dessert… If you eat candy… If you eat ‘junk’ food… If you eat cake, ice cream, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, anything with refined flour or sugar or butter or eggs…
How often do you feel guilty afterwards? Or like you have to burn it off? How often does your self worth become tied to this one little phrase, “You are what you eat?”
It’s not true. You are MORE THAN what you eat. You are MORE THAN the food you put in your body. You are MORE THAN the calories, macros, carbs, fats, proteins, sugars, and nutrients you consume. You are MORE THAN your body, your appearance, and what you see in the mirror.
Your worth isn’t tied to what you eat, regardless of whether those foods are healthy. Your worth isn’t tied to how you look, regardless of whether that’s strong and lean or soft and plump or anything in between.
You are a unique, beautiful, smart, funny, caring, lovable, undeniably worthy soul. You are SO much more than what you eat. And the world needs you, exactly as you are.
YOU’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE YOUR OWN DEFINITION OF HEALTHY.
People seem to argue about this all the time. What does it actually mean… To eat, live, and be healthy? What does “healthy” look like? Taste like? Feel like?
With a business called “Amy’s Healthy Baking,” I get lots of comments about my recipes… And some of them are angry, rude, or condescending.
Those people think my “healthy” ingredient choices are questionable at best… That my recipes are going to cause obesity and cancer… That I’m a total fraud for sharing treats that could kill them.
A little melodramatic? Probably.
But they’re still entitled to their opinion.
Because everybody is different. Every BODY is different. Therefore… “Healthy” is going to look, taste, and feel different to everybody and every body.
And that’s okay.
That’s normal.
To me, healthy looks, tastes, and feels like balance. Like wholeness. Not in the sense of whole foods… But in feeling whole and complete. Taking care of my mind, body, and soul.
To me, healthy foods will always include chocolate and cookies, along with carrots and celery. Pizza and pumpkin pie, along with pineapple and peaches. Muffins and scones, along with mixed greens and spinach.
Those foods all look, taste, and feel like balance to me. Like wholeness and completeness. Like I’m equally nourishing my body, mind, and soul.
You might have a different definition of healthy. And that’s okay. You are different than me. Your BODY is different than mine. And that’s amazing.
I hope you have your own definition of healthy. I hope you stick with it, even when other people try to convince you otherwise. I hope you always feel whole and complete, and I hope you love the healthy life you choose to live.
IF “HEALTHY” FEELS RESTRICTIVE, THEN YOU’RE PROBABLY DOING IT WRONG.
If eating healthy feels restrictive, then you’re probably doing it wrong.
Does that sound crazy to you? Did your mind and body just tense up, ready to argue?
Or did your mind and body just relax in a feeling of relief?
Here’s the thing…
‘Healthy’ actually comes from an Old English word, hælþ, which means wholeness. Not wholeness, as in whole foods… But wholeness, as in feeling whole. Complete. United. One.
How often do we feel torn in two, trying to eat what other people say is “healthy” but isn’t what our bodies actually crave? How often do we judge and berate ourselves for the food choices we make, feeling guilty about eating carrot cake instead of carrot sticks or sugar cookies instead of salads? How often do we emotionally tear ourselves apart, all in the name of eating “healthy?”
How often do we actually feel whole and complete?
I truly believe that everybody is allowed to have their own definition of healthy…
But I also think that, at the root of it, being healthy really consists of feeling whole. Feeling cared for. Feeling at peace.
To me, it means taking care of my body, mind, and soul… Not just putting “healthy” foods in my body.
And as soon as a “healthy” diet feels restrictive, it means I’m focusing only on the food… And ignoring my mind and soul. There might be lots of nutrients for my body in those “healthy” foods, but if I’m never giving my mind and soul the nutrients they need… Is that really healthy, to eat those “healthy” foods and nothing else?
In my eyes… No.
You’re allowed to have your own definition of healthy. You’re allowed to eat whatever foods feel best to your body.
But I also hope that you remember that some other foods nourish your mind and soul… And enjoying those foods will always be healthy, too.
YOUR WORTH ISN’T MEASURED IN POUNDS, INCHES, OR DRESS SIZES.
Do you like the person you see in the mirror? Or do you mentally criticize yourself whenever you see your reflection?
Do you smile at the face and body staring back at you? Or do you focus on its flaws, pointing out every one and tearing yourself apart?
How often do you think…
If I could lose 10 pounds, then I’d finally be beautiful?
If I could get rid of this acne, then I’d finally feel confident?
If I could fit into this dress, then I could finally love myself?
If… If… If…
So many of us, myself included, tend to beat ourselves up. Tear ourselves down. Rip ourselves to pieces. All because we don’t feel worthy or “enough.”
Our bodies and looks are often the biggest reasons… But we also judge ourselves for not being enough when it comes to our workouts, our diets, our careers, our incomes, our houses, our marriages, our families, our parenting… And more.
How often do you let your appearance dictate your worth? How often do you let other people’s perceptions of you determine how good enough you feel?
What will it take to finally feel worthy… To finally feel good enough?
Here’s the thing…
You’re already worthy. You’re already good enough.
Exactly as you are, right this very moment…
You. Are. Enough.
Your worth isn’t defined by the number on the scale, the number of inches around your waist, or your dress size.
None of those — not a single one — dictate whether you’re worthy or good enough.
Because…
You already are. You’re a beautiful, kind, loving, smart, successful, and absolutely amazing human being. Your worth radiates from the soul inside of you, and it burns as brightly as the sun.
Your worth isn’t determined by any outside factors… the way your body looks… or how other people see you.
Your worth — your true worth — comes from inside. It comes from your heart and soul. It always exists, even when you don’t feel it or see it. It’s always there, even when you’ve turned away or forgotten.
Even when you feel lost, afraid, ugly, or so alone…
You are still good enough.
You are incredible, beautiful, and unfathomably worthy. Exactly as you are. Right here. Right now.
And I hope you let yourself feel your true worth glowing so brightly inside of you.
Also, would you like to see more posts like this? Or do you mainly prefer recipes?
Many thanks for this message! Totally agree with you but hav struggled with this for decades. Brava!
It’s my pleasure! Thank you so much for having the courage to share. That means a lot to me! ♡
I loved this post! I struggle with many of these things for most of my life and it’s such a waste of energy. It’s so helpful to be reminded that our worth is not based on how we look, our weight, our careers, etc. Thank you for sharing your thoughs!
It’s my pleasure, Linda! It means so much to me that this resonated with you. Thank for for taking the time to let me know! ♡ I hope you continue to remember that your worth isn’t tied to any of these — you’re such a beautiful and worthy soul, just for existing and being who you already are!
This is a fantastic essay on healthy and self-worth. It’s so true that “healthy” should not feel restrictive.
You’re so kind — thank you Penny! I truly appreciate your kind words! ♡
Nicely done.
I haven’t ever heard that before…. Healthy shouldn’t be restrictive. I guess I need to think more about it. I have had great success in weight loss and kept it off over 8 yrs now. Heart disease runs in my family so I have been extremely careful in not carrying extra pounds. Plus I like the way I look when I am thin. So I guess I do judge myself better because I’m not 300 lbs. At first I thought I was only working this hard because I thought it would make more lovable – but that’s clearly not true, as when I was my thinest, my husband was the least faithful. So I have been on this super restrictive track, where sure i splurge every one in a while like every 6 months and feel guilty about it for another 6 months, but I am quite content with staying the same weight and size and being able to chase my kids at the park or run on a track with my oldest. Sorry for my rambling…. Just trying to see where it all fits….I agree we shouldn’t feel guilty about food especially if there is moderation and exercise etc….I just don’t know how to not. Thanks for this post. Its incredibly insightful. There’s so many of us that are confused about what healthy means. To me it usually means out doesn’t have much sugar or carbs or has a good veggie in it, or has a decent amt of fat. I have noticed if there’s enough fat in a meal, I can eat less an be stay fuller longer. Love those avocadoes 🙂 but everyone’s different
You are so brave to share all of this Stephanie! I’m truly honored that you’d be willing to share this with me. ♡ I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be able to chase your kids, keep up with your eldest on the track, or be conscientious about the heart disease that runs in your family. I think those are wonderful things! I also hope that you realize you’re loved AND completely lovable regardless of how you look, how much you weigh, or whether you’re able to run around a track. Your worth isn’t tied to any of these things. You are such an incredible, kind, big-hearted, loving being — exactly the mama your kids need.
It’s hard to change our mindsets around “healthy” and redefine what it means. It doesn’t happen overnight, especially when we’ve thought that “healthy” means being careful or restrictive with what we eat and focusing on our outward appearance. Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one step back (or even two or three!), but what truly matters is that we keep showing up. We keep trying. We keep reminding ourselves that even though our brains have thought one thing about “healthy” for so long… It doesn’t have to stay that way. I hope that you continue to think, grow, and love yourself on your health journey, no matter what you see in the mirror or on the scale, and you allow yourself to have your own unique definition of “healthy” that’s as beautiful as you are. ♡
Thank you so much Sonia!
Thank you for this!!
You’re so welcome Kela! ♡
This post is what makes your site truly about “healthy eating”. Thank you Amy, for speaking the words so many o f us needed to be reminded of! We’re on this journey together 🙂
You’re so sweet Alice — it’s my pleasure! I truly love what you said too. We’re definitely all on this journey together! ♡
Thank you for this post. Learn to love yourself. Other people’s opinions are just that, their opinion.
It’s my pleasure, Gail! I love your reminder, too. Opinions are just opinions — not facts or our own truths! ♡
I love this post so so much, and WISH it were a real life coffee talk. The IRONY (for me) is that I am ACTUALLY drinking a cup of coffee reading this, something I never do anymore. For me, healthy is allowing myself the occasional cup even though coffee and I don’t always get along. A cup of coffee for me is now more for my mind and soul than anything else (unless I drink it while I am too active and then I just get anxiety, so I have to know when the time is right.) That was all a matter of learning my body!
I admittedly continue to fight through thoughts that are similar to these, but I’m much better today than I was years ago before my autoimmune disease diagnosis. Sometimes it takes something drastic to shift your perspective. I no longer focus AS MUCH on how I look, but more on how I feel. Again, a work in progress. I love you, I love this post, and I love when you share more of your soul.
ALSO, I know everyone is entitled to their idea of healthy, but I’m sorry…using REAL butter, and REAL flour, and REAL food in your baking even if that includes…(GASP) sugar…that is MUCH more healthy to me than using man made processed junk that is claiming to be “healthy.” Know your products people! (END rant.)
Awww thank you SO much Brittany!! That truly means the world to me that this resonated with you. ♡ I know parts of our journeys have been so similar, especially when it comes to food and diet modifications, and I’m incredibly proud of your mindset shift. It’s not easy to switch our focus to feelings rather than looks (especially with the messages we’re subconsciously and consciously blasted with in the media!), so it’s really inspiring to hear that you’ve been able to do that. Life will always be a work in progress, but I’m learning that’s the secret in life. We never fully “get there,” no matter where “there” is, and it’s just about flowing towards what feels right and letting those things evolve. 🙂 I hope you continue to find relief, peace, and joy in your journey!
Your thoughtful words are wise, & much appreciated.
You’re so kind — that means a lot to me Renee! Thank you! ♡
Amy, thank you so much for this. I have struggled since age 13 (20 years) with nutrition and exercise. Six years ago I lost 40 pounds and kept it off for 3 years, only to gain back 28 pounds after I got married. It was so much harder the second time to loose it and now I’m so restrictive with my food and I’m obsessed with checking my fitbit to see how many calories I’ve burned and if I miss a workout or eat “bad food” I beat myself up. I’m working on getting better at it but it’s so hard. Thank you for reminding us it’s not about being skinny or losing this much amount of weight or being able to fit into a size 8 jeans. Thank you for reminding us we are more than our weight or how much we exercise or what we eat. And thank you for your awesome recipes!
I’m so glad this resonated with you, Whitney! I’m also incredibly honored that you’d open up and share this with me. It takes a lot of courage to do that! ♡ You’re definitely not alone; I think many of us (myself included!) need reminders like these every so often… Or even daily. (Especially with what we usually see in the media, magazines, and social media!) I’m so proud of you for acknowledging where you are and continuing to try to get better about not beating yourself up and forgiving yourself for missed workouts or eating not-so-nutritious foods. It takes true strength and grace to do that, to keep trying when we feel like we’ve “failed,” and to still treat ourselves with love and kindness. You are such an amazing, beautiful, strong, and talented being — no matter what you eat or what you look like — and I hope you continue to find peace, love, and joy on your journey!