I feel as if I say this nearly every time I sit down to write one of these Coffee Break posts, but… Time is completely flying by. Wasn’t New Year’s Eve just yesterday? How are we already halfway through February?? And will time ever finally slow down???
…that’s probably wishful thinking, isn’t it? 😉
Since the answer to that last question is probably a resounding “no,” let’s just move right along…
And instead, let’s pretend that you and I are sitting across the table from each other at your favorite coffee shop, sipping mochas or chai lattes or even hot chocolate and catching up on life!
And if that’s what was happening, then this really big life update, one that makes me feel so nervous yet so at peace at the same time, is what I would share with you…
“Put people first.
There will always be time to study longer, to work harder, to earn more. But when we sacrifice every moment in the present to chase those things — a better job, a higher raise, a bigger bank account — what meaning will the future actually hold, when we’ve let those people and those friendships fall by the wayside?
Certain people come into our lives for a reason. Sometimes they’re here once a year, or once a decade, or once a lifetime.
Seize those moments. Love them. Cherish them.
When we come to the end of our lives, those people and the moments we spent with them, not those hours of studying and working and earning, will be what we remember and what matter most. ♡”
I wrote that reminder to myself almost 3 ½ years ago. I shared it on my personal Instagram account, along with a photo of one of my best friends. We had spent the afternoon walking around our old high school campus, watching the annual field show competition the marching band hosted every year, cheering and laughing and catching up.
You’d think that message would’ve sunken in back then…
But no.
I still need a reminder… Almost every week, it seems like.
For almost seven years, I’ve worked on Amy’s Healthy Baking nearly seven days a week, nearly every week of the year. Even on weekends, even on vacations, even on holidays… There are always emails to check, comments to respond to, social media posts to share, and DMs to reply to… In addition to the hours and hours of work that go into each and every new recipe that I share: research, testing, retesting, retesting some more, dishes, photography, editing, writing, uploading, social sharing, grocery shopping, you name it.
Don’t get me wrong… I absolutely love my career and feel so incredibly blessed to call Amy’s Healthy Baking my full-time job. I wouldn’t change that at all. Ever. Not in a million years.
And yet…
As a result, I haven’t fully been there for other people — or for myself.
Almost exactly six years ago, my workaholism started to take a toll on my health. That’s a long story for another day, but in a nutshell, my body stopped functioning. I scheduled appointments with almost a dozen different doctors, and each one said the same thing…
“You’re perfectly healthy on paper. I don’t know what’s wrong.”
I battled every day. I fought to make it through, fought the pain and discomfort, fought to keep baking and recipe testing, even when my body rejected virtually all of the foods I put into it… Including my own healthy homemade ones.
It was hard. So freaking hard.
I worried. I stressed. I hurt.
I cried. A lot.
I questioned myself. I questioned my career. I questioned whether I was even the right girl for this, the right person to share healthy recipes with you when my body was so far from healthy… And I constantly worried that you might find out, that others might call me a hypocrite for creating and posting healthy recipes when “healthy” was the last thing you could call me and my body.
Sure, I did all of the “right” healthy things… I ate healthy foods, exercised daily, got enough sleep…
But my body still wouldn’t function properly. Ever.
Until last December.
For almost three weeks after a trip to Mexico for my close friend’s wedding, all of my symptoms disappeared. All of them. Every single one.
The only difference?
I was fully present, living fully and completely in the present moment, and listening to my body.
When my body said sleep, I slept. When my body said eat, I ate. When my body said relax, I skipped my workouts. When my body said be spontaneous, I stayed up late and danced under the stars. When my body said alone time, I excused myself from previous obligations and found space to be by myself. When my body said be social, I spent time with new and old friends. When my body said write about your emotions and experiences, I wrote. When my body said laugh, I did… so long and so freely and so much.
I stopped worrying… worrying about work, about food, about exercise, about my body’s usual misbehaving… and especially about what others thought of me.
I was in the moment. Simply living in the moment. Feeling so grateful, so peaceful, so in awe of the magic and miracles happening all around me.
I was present. Fully and completely present. Letting myself be Amy… just Amy… and not Amy’s Healthy Baking.
And then…
The holidays arrived. They brought the stress of travel, of picking out gifts, of being everywhere and everything that people wanted me to be. The stress of gearing up for January, the busiest time of the year for Amy’s Healthy Baking due to the general population’s health-oriented New Year’s resolutions, and the stress of scheduling as much high-quality content and as many high-quality new recipes as possible.
The stress of returning back to my old habits and old ways…
And my body immediately let me know it.
All of the same health issues returned… and then some. Many felt worse than before.
Yet finally… I knew what caused them. Even though no doctor ever figured it out, I knew.
My body was telling me to slow down. To rest. To pivot. To reevaluate my priorities. To stop being such a workaholic… And to start taking care of myself. To start listening to my inner wisdom and intuition. To trust them. To start putting myself — my body, my heart, and my soul — first.
It scared me. It scared the living daylights right out of me.
Being a Type A overachieving perfectionistic workaholic… That constantly working, pushing, and striving lifestyle was all I had ever known. And now…
Now my body was telling me I needed to do the opposite. To slow down. To rest. To stop working…
And to start living.
To start being the real, true, authentic being I’ve always been all along, even when I tried hiding those quirky and imperfect sides of me… And to start believing that this being, the being I truly am, is still beautiful and incredible and good enough.
I’m still figuring out what that all means. I’m still figuring out the details of what life is going to look like moving forward. I’m still figuring out how to balance my love for you — my infinite love for you and all that you’ve done for me, how you’ve enabled me to make Amy’s Healthy Baking my full-time job and my full income source and how I’m eternally grateful for you and your role in that — and my love of baking… How to balance those with slowing down, resting more, and letting my body and soul be my guide.
But…
By no means is this good-bye. I can definitely promise you that!
I still have hundreds of recipe ideas that I want to try. I still have dozens of brand new blog posts that I’ve already photographed and written coming your way. I still love — with a capital L-O-V-E — doing what I do here, baking and blogging and sharing recipes with you on Amy’s Healthy Baking.
So I think… This is more of a check-in. Of letting you know where I’m at. Of sharing what’s going on behind the scenes and telling you not to worry if there are fewer recipes appearing in your email inbox or your Instagram feed in the upcoming weeks.
And this is also me opening up and inviting you to follow along on this new and different journey, the one where I continue to learn how to be my truest and most authentic self, trusting my soul’s wisdom — rather than the logic of my brain — and letting that guide my footsteps on my life’s path.
Because…
I have a feeling that I’m not the only one going through this.
I have a feeling that somewhere out there, maybe you or your friend or even a complete stranger… Maybe somebody else is going through something similar.
Maybe your body hasn’t been going through a health crisis for six years (I certainly hope not!)… But maybe you’re feeling just as lost and confused as I was. Maybe you’re doubting your talents and skills. Maybe you’re wondering if — or desperately hoping — there’s more to life than what’s currently in front of you.
And if that’s true… If any part of that is true…
Then I want you to know you’re not alone.
You are definitely not alone.
For the most part, I’m planning on keeping Amy’s Healthy Baking mostly focused on recipes.
But if you’d like to follow along with everything else, with what I’m learning and sharing as I continue to evolve and grow in this other space… the one more focused on whole-life and whole-body health, trusting my body, listening to my heart and soul’s wisdom, and trusting their guidance… I’ll be sharing that through email here.
It’s an entirely separate email list, completely different from my recipe emails, so if you’ve signed up for my recipe emails and would like to receive these other insights and updates, you’ll still need to sign up for this new email list here.
Regardless of whether you only care about recipes, you have a strong interest in these new insights, or you’re somewhere in between…
I’m still grateful for you. So incredibly grateful for you.
You have impacted my life. You have made a difference, a very big difference, and I truly appreciate that.
Thank you. Thank you for what you’ve done, the role you’ve played, and the beautiful soul that you are. ♡
And I’m so excited to see what this next chapter has in store for both of us.
good luck Amy. I wish the best for you. I just signed up to read more about your journey.
I am so excited for you! Now, that “luggage” you picked up at the airport when you got back (work acoholic, no rest, the usual stuff us Type A’s have :-)) needs to go back to the airport and let it go to lost luggage. Let someone else have it. You foimd better stuff in Mexico! Now, delegate. I bet among all the people in your amazing life, you will find those that you can trust to help you carry the burdens. And I am willing to bet they are standing on the sidelines just waiting to embrace you!
Okay, here is the ugly truth. If you should die today, somebody at work will replace you. Tough, huh? I realized that when I was rushing to work one morning and saw an accident and wondered to myself, “Wonder who has to pick up their job today?” You are not replaceable when it comes to those in your life. Be there. With them, for them, among them.
I am excited to follow your journey!
You’re so sweet Susan — thank you!! ♡ I’m laughing at your luggage metaphor… That’s exactly what I needed to hear! It’s time to return these unnecessary bags to the airport! 😉 I can already tell it’s going to be so useful to have this fun mental image during this next season of life. You have a way with words and imagery — such a natural gift!
And that’s such a wise insight that you shared about that particular drive to work one day as well! We never know how long we have here on Earth… And although we may hope it’s a long time, that’s not always the case, so it’s worth putting ourselves and our loved ones first. Thank you for this wonderful reminder!
Thank you so much! I’m incredibly honored that you’d sign up for my special group. I’m looking forward to sending more insights your way in the very near future!
Take care of yourself! I’m a perfectionist as well, and I know how it feels to push yourself even to the point of having anxiety attacks from trying to do it all! Balance is key! Thanks for sharing ♥️
I’m glad that you’re listening to your body. I’m a pleaser and perfectionist as well and understand some of what you have experienced too. Do what you need to do for your mental and physical health. We will be here to support you!
I’m so grateful for your support, Melissa! That means so much! ♡ That combination of being a pleaser and a perfectionist can be so hard sometimes, can’t it? Especially when we forget to check in with our hearts, not just our heads… I hope you’ve found more relief, balance, and peace in your life’s journey by recognizing it. Sending so much love your way!
You’re so sweet Hollie; thank you! ♡ I truly appreciate you sharing your story. It isn’t always easy to open up and share what we’re going through, especially when it comes to perfectionism and anxiety, so I’m really honored that you’d do that. I hope you’re continuing to find more peace and balance in your life — you truly deserve it!
Thank you for sharing this. It made me realize that I need to step back and remember what/who are important in my life. I need to take it easy and slow down. Also thank you for the healthy recipes.
It’s my pleasure Marlys! I’m truly honored that you’ve been enjoying my recipes and that these words resonated with you. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rush of daily life… and then forget to pause and reevaluate who and what is most important to our hearts and souls. You’re definitely not alone in those thoughts and feelings, and I hope you’re able to slow down, cherish these moments, and find so much peace and love in your life’s journey!
Life can be tricky and so busy and stress can be sneaky! Good job listening to your body. I need to do that quite often, and I ‘check in’ with God, discussing everything going on, listening for and waiting for His answers. Prayer is my lifeline.
You’re in my prayers, and I wish you the very best! God bless.
Oh, and did I mention I love your recipes?? 🙂
Oh Helen, thank you SO much for your incredibly sweet words and prayers! It truly means so much to me! ♡ I love your reminder about checking in, listening, and waiting. While the first part can be a bit easier… The latter two can definitely take some patience and practice! 😉 I’m so honored that you’re enjoying my recipes too! I’d love to hear what you think of whichever treats you decide to try making next! 🙂
Amy for you to share this on your blog is healing not only for you but others reading! We all really need to slow down more and appreciate the important people and things in our lives. I’m so glad that you’ve come to this realization for your own health! ???? I look forward to hearing more about your journey! The very BEST of LUCK to you! ❤
Thank you SO much for your sweet words, Tina! I debated about whether to share this for such a long time… But in the end, I decided to post it in the hopes that it might help others find some hope and reassurance if they were going through something even remotely similar. So for you to say that it’s healing for others truly means so much to me. ♡ I’m so grateful for you and how you took the time to share your thoughts! Thank you!!
Hello Amy,
I had come across Amy’s Healthy Baking some years ago and found it interesting. I have to admit that with general busyness and going through a life crisis of my own for many years I have simply set aside the many emails from you in the hopes to go through them at another time at leisure (which I have started).
I applaud you for sharing with us what you have been dealing with and your realization that you need to slow down and take better care of yourself. It does seem to take a long time for many of us to discover and learn how to do this in such a busy world. The pictures you have shared are very beautiful – thank you. This email has given me a better glimpse of the beautiful soul that you are and I will definitely sign up for your new email list.
I pray that you will continue to become healthier, stronger and fully enjoy life and I look forward to what you will have to share in the future. And might I add that having fewer emails from you is quite alright. In a day when we are inundated by far too many unwelcomed emails, it is a like a treasure when we do receive those we truly want to review.
Take care and I look forward to when we hear from you again.
Oh Debby… Thank you SO much for your incredibly sweet and thoughtful words! I’m truly honored by your prayers and that you’ve been enjoying the emails of mine that you’ve been receiving, regardless of how many of them you’ve had time to read. Just the simple fact that you’ve set them aside and hoped to read them in the future fills my heart. It means so much! ♡
I’m so grateful that you’d sign up for my new email list and that you’d feel comfortable enough to share a glimpse into your own life and insights. You are such a strong and beautiful soul to weather the storm of your life crisis, and I hope that you’ve found so much peace, joy, and love through your journey. Sending so much love your way, Debby!
Amy, I am sure most of us have been down that road at some time or other. I am now a senior but looking back I was faced with similar feelings many times. Even as a senior and retired with no more work pressures on board, I am going through my own journey of riding out other types of storms and even fretting about the world situation, the politics, the hatred these days – I fear for my grandchildren. I think you will be OK because you have caught yourself in time and are taking a well needed step back. Your recipes are lovely and I can’t stop making your cornbread! You always appeared so calm and sweet in your videos. Be true to your mind and body and keep them healthy. As they say, we pass this way but once. I am sure we all wish you well on this next stage of your journey through life. As one lady here wrote – leave that luggage behind in Lost Luggage. Very appropriate! Let us know how you are getting on and when recipes come in, they will be much enjoyed as usual. You are young – enjoy it – they say youth is wasted on the young – so true! We are only young once – embrace it.
Thank you so much for your sweet words, Martha! I’m really honored that you’d feel comfortable enough to share your own story about your past and the storms you’ve weathered. ♡ Life truly is a never-ending journey, isn’t it? There will always be something new to worry about, according to our minds… But our hearts and souls have so much wisdom to share and will always help us make it through every situation, if only we remember to step back and turn to them. I hope you’re finding more peace and joy with every day!
And thank you so much for taking the time to let me know that you’ve been enjoying my cornbread! That makes my heart so incredibly happy to hear!
Good for you! Yes, you ned to take time to rest, enjoy your family and life in general.
Thank you so much Charlotte! I truly appreciate your sweet words and reminder. ♡ Sending so much love your way!
I am very happy for you focussing on your health and well being! Smart woman. ❤
Thank you so much Penny! That truly means a lot to me! ♡
God Bless You!
You’re so kind David! ???????? Sending so much peace and so many blessings your way too!